the one where i tell Sierra and Seth's story

one of the greatest blessings in my life is my incredible sister. i have looked up to, and modeled my life after hers for as long as i can remember. she is humble, intelligent, kind, beautiful, trustworthy, wise, confident, determined, adventurous, compassionate, patient, hard-working, loyal and valiant. she's been so inspiring to so many people, and once again she sets the example of getting married in the beautiful LDS temple in Manti. Seth is an amazing young man that has always loved and protected her. he's determined, loyal, hard-working, anchored, and is always willing to serve the Lord. he'll make a great husband and father and i'm so excited to be able to call him my brother.

and now for the moment you all have been waiting for,

here is their story:

so once upon a time Seth saw Sierra at youth conference
 (a church camp) when he was 14, and he was all like,

and so he was pretty much smitten by her awesomeness. 

so he probably stalked her for the next two years, 

 that part is unclear, but when they were 16 they officially met at youth conference.

Seth was all like,

but Sierra was like,

just kidding! 

so they started talking and he asked her to his junior prom and she accepted.

they had a great time. Seth wanted to date her right then and there, 

but Sierra wanted to make sure he was boyfriend material. 

so she actually rejected him a few times first.

but the next year they went to youth conference again and 

sierra saw that he was very compassionate and that he was kinda a hero at trek.

so she finally realized what a catch he was.

oh silly me, 

Seth is a cowboy.

so then Sierra was all like,

"ask me to be your girlfriend again!"

or something like that.

so he asked and she was like,

and Seth was like, "here comes the smolder."

so they dated for a couple years, and they were a super cute couple.

then Seth prepared to leave for his mission for our church. 

so they had to say goodbye for two years.

once he left, Sierra was devastated for months and months. 

they decided it was best to just move on.

the 2 years soon passed and Seth was coming home.

lucky for her i was there telling her to go meet him.

so she arrived at the church after he had just flown home from Argentina.

and she was all like,

and it was awkward for both of them

and Kaitlyn, (seth's little sister) and i were all like,

so they didn't just fall back into place. 

but Seth felt that he needed to see where things went with her so

he started making an effort again.

and Sierra was like,

and things started working out, especially after we moved 

back home for the summer.

we were able to see the Ramsays once a week.

and things were working out between them,

and Sierra remembered how she had felt when she was with him

but Sierra was planning on going on a mission.

her papers were finished, but Seth wanted her to make sure that

was the correct decision for her, he asked her to pray more whether 

she should go on a mission or get married.

and Sierra was like,

but after praying a lot about the situation, Sierra was amazed at her answer.

she had been reassured that this relationship was something she needed.

they had both had grown so much and were both so in love. 

they both had received answers that this relationship was something Heavenly Father

was pleased with and that they should get married.

so one weekend we were in the Sandhills Seth asked my father permission

to marry my amazing sister, and us siblings sat and watched through the window

of course my dad said yes,

and Chip (seth's dad) was all like,

haha!

so after 4 years, Sierra returned to youth conference as the photographer,

Seth had surprised her at the scene where she first decided he was the one.

he proposed 

and of course she said yes!

i know right?!

so some people were like,

and others like,

but most were like,

and Kaitlyn was like,

and Sierra got home and was like, "im getting married!"

and i was like,

just kidding! i was so happy for her! and i will look like Gus Gus at their wedding.

but i was also like, my best friend/sister/roomie is leaving me.

and i was just like,

 dont worry i'll figure out how to fend for myself.

but really i'm so excited for her and Seth to make this journey together.

But just know,

for you Sierra. I love you and you're my person.

So once again congratulations to the happy couple!

Love you both a ton!

the one where i get to babysit and rant

so every four years the youth gets to spend Youth Conference at Martin's Cove. This is always a very spiritual experience for everyone and is definitely a memory never forgotten. I had the chance to attend my second year of Youth Conference and I know for a certain that my testimony was strengthened because of the 4 days dressed as a pioneer and walking in their footprints. We not only had challenges such as losing our spouses and babies, we also were asked to walk many miles pulling handcarts, sometimes barefoot, up rocky hills and through rivers. The sacredness in the Cove is something that I'll never be able to explain. I absolutely loved it and I'm so happy for my two younger siblings to have the chance to be there this week as well.

So as I was saying, this week the youth returned to Martin's Cove for Youth Conference. My mother is a counselor in the Stake Young Women's, my father chooses to be a cook and is able to attend Girls Camp and Youth Conference each year, my oldest sister was asked to attend to as a photojournalist, and two of my younger siblings attended as youth. Which left me, and my youngest sister not joining the trek. Another couple in the Stake was able to go as well and asked me to nanny this week for them while everyone was away. 

The last 2 days (2 to go)  I've been able to watch over 3 kids, 4 including my sister. Aging between 7-13. Its been a hectic yet exciting week playing mom. Cleaning, cooking, taking kids to swimming lessons, preparing scripture studying, and putting kids to bed. The last couple of days our adventures have included; going to the pool, playing many, many games, water balloon fights, watching movies, and setting up a sheet and projector up as an outdoor movie theater, and I'm sure many new experiences before the week ends.

As I've babysat I've come to learn how truly important a mother's role is. I've never once thought in my life that, as a women, I was treated unequally. That I was looked upon as just a homemaker. But even if I was, I don't think I would mind. I would love being able to stay home with my kids each day and watch them as they grew. What a wonderful life it would be to have to watch your kids smile, read, run, play, and live as a job. Some, don't think women and men are equal, especially in the Church since men are able to hold the priesthood. But honestly, a women's duty as carrying a child and watching he/she grow is such an amazing and life changing experience, thinking of it, is....mind-blowing. As humans, we are able to create life. Its an amazing process. And as women, we have a life, a person, growing inside of us. I'm so excited to someday to have the opportunity to be a mom and to raise a family of my own. But until that time, I'm grateful to have the chance to practice and babysit these wonderful kids.
If you're still interested in this topic, give Elder Ballard's talk a read/listen/watch.
"This Is My Work and Glory"

the one about a beau désordre

beau désordre. beautiful disorder
i learned this phrase in art history.
i thought about it a lot since then.
we used it in a sense where the surroundings in the portrait were a mess
the artist thought, "what is so beautiful about order and uniformity?"
life isn't like that and people aren't like that
life isn't completely organized. nor should it be.
we aren't perfect by any means, we have flaws,
but isn't that what makes us who we are?
another thought entered my mind.
last week while in a public restroom
i heard a girl walk in,
she then proceeded in an act that made my eyes fill with tears
she gagged herself and threw up
i was stunned.
i hurt for her, why would anyone deliberately want to do that?
i so badly wanted to run out and talk to her! help her.
tell her how beautiful she was and how she didn't have to do this daily.
i wanted to tell her that her Heavenly Father loved her just the way she was.
she didn't have to change one thing.
sadly she left as soon as she was done
i thought of how lucky i was that i was taught at a young age of my importance to our Savior
and how Heavenly Father made me and loved me for me.
i thought about the constant lessons of individual worth in young womens
how very blessed i am to know that.
of course i have flaws. of course i whine about my imperfections
but deep down i know i wouldn't change a thing because this is how He made me.
and He did it for a reason
as i began writing this post i couldn't help but notice the lyrics to the song that happened to be on shuffle on my computer.

The photos in the magazines

Don't dictate who I'm supposed to be
The world can't recognize, all that I am inside
But I know in His eyes, I am a part of, the bigger picture,

There's so much more to me

He helps me see that I have so much to offer

I am His daughter

He loves me the way I am,

He's my strength when I stand

He is my King, and my Father,

I am His daughter.

The people on the TV screen,

The leaders, rulers, and queens

I watch them shape the world,

And though I'm just a girl, I still know for sure,

That I am a part of, the bigger picture

And when I'm feeling small,

And wondering if I'll ever, find courage to stand tall

Through His love I remember

There's so much more to me

He helps me to see that I have so much to offer

I am His daughter

He loves me the way I am

He's my strength when I stand
He is my King, and my Father,
I am His daughter

don't change yourself because of society's warped definition of the word beautiful,
next time you think of beautiful things, don't forget to count yourself.

Operation Beautiful

the one about prayer

today has been stressful, and it's only noon.
let me start my story by explaining my art history class!
(i can vision all of your faces just light up about that!)
but really, its boring. very very boring and when its not boring its awkward
it is my biggest lecture this semester 200+ people or so (big for me at least!)
art history. thats exactly it. we analyze old famous art and compare and contrast with other old art
in a way it is interesting...sometimes, but for this post im exaggerating how much i dislike it.
its difficult memorizing names like Jacopo Pontormo, Artemisia Gentileschi, and Pietro da Cortona and their works when half of them are emulated of each other and you honestly don't care about the subject.
so i have a rough time paying attention and studying
another key factor in this story is because its such a huge lecture, we dont have homework, which is great! and not so great. we have 3 exams. 3 scores for the semester. each 1/3 of your final grade
now if you were a genius and aced each test, this is your class! but for us mere mortals, this is a big deal, means you HAVE to do well, or else your final grade sucks. you miss an exam? 0.
so exam #2 was today.
ill be honest, i always wait till the last day, so you can imagine i was up late last night,
still didnt feel comfortable with the information so i skipped my first class to study, 
was feeling pretty good about it so i started getting ready for class, 
when i dress up and actually spend time getting ready i feel more confident so i did just that
most of my classes start within a half hour, ex. 8:30, 9:30 10:30....
not this one! starts at 11! but for some stupid stupid reason that slips my mind and i continue getting ready as if it was any other morning, be ready to leave by __:05
i check my phone. 10:56. pretty proud of myself have a few minute left.
hits me like a ton of bricks, literally. i was dumbfounded and speechless.
10:57 i make myself move, and quickly! i literally have 3 minutes to make it downtown lincoln, park, run to class, get organized, and review. which usually takes me 20 minutes. throwing on clothes and almost in tears i race out the door,
driving like a maniac (a very safe and aware maniac if youre reading this mom/dad ;) ), 
all i can do is pray.
prayed the whole way, i cant say it was a very thoughtful prayer, more a plead for help.
i prayed for safety while driving like this
for there to be no cops on the highway for just this once
for the lights to be in my favor
for my teacher's heart to be softened 
for me to make it in to the room before the exam starts
for me to remember and apply the things ive studied for
and more.
repeat. rephrase. repeat. 
as i'm driving i see the only cop on this highway pulling another car over. (sorry to that poor fellow, didnt mean to get you pulled over!) 
i get to the stop light. green. turn. next stoplight. green. drive and miraculously another green.
i park, sprint to class and walk in. 11:09 pretty unbelievable.
everyone else has their exams. i walk to the front and the professor acknowledges my tardiness, hesitates for a second, walks to an empty seat and sets the exam on the desk. i thank her graciously and sit down, no time to fill out my personal information,
she immediately announces the slides for the exams will begin now.
(being an art history exam the slides show the pieces of artwork in which questions apply to, if you dont see the slides, there is no possible way of answering 90% of the exam)
i answer the questions and amazingly, i know every slide. after the slides 10 more questions without them. a little more difficult but went well. after i finish the personal information and hand in my exam i walk out the door in astonishment.
 and again i pray.
i thank my Heavenly Father for all he has done for me, even though it means so little in life if you think about it. 
i'm so blessed to have a relationship with my Father in Heaven and to know that if i rely on Him, He will always come through for me. 
the power of prayer is truly a miraculous thing. ♥

the one where i just ramble on

i feel the need to write a  post today
im terribly sorry but there is nothing great going on in my life that i have to write about
i could talk about how i hate going to class, doing homework, studying, thinking about studying, writing essays, thinking about writing my essays, and anything else that isn't sleeping, eating, having fun, and/or husker football.
i could write about how after my morning class i have approximately 40 minutes to kill until my next one. most people would like this, and i do. buuuuut my first class is on one side of campus and the only places to "chill" "hang-out" or wait for a class are 1. the student union or 2. the institute building, which are both on the complete opposite side of campus. my second class is smack dab in between the two locations. i'd hate walking back and forth because that takes time and in that 40 minutes id rather being doing something else besides retracing my path. so instead i hide. yup i hide away in a bathroom stall. you may find this odd. and it is. or is it?? i simply walk to the bathroom after class #1 go to the last stall, the handicapped one, and lock that little flimsy lock. (that has came undone a few times which is embarrassing.) i choose the last stall not only because its big and i dont feel suffocated but because when someone walks in to use the bathroom, they always look through those little cracks between the doors to see which ones are taken, we're all guilty of it and sadly sometimes see things we dont care to share with others. but if you take the last stall they almost always find an empty stall before they even reach your side of the bathroom! i truly amaze myself with my thinking. so i sit here do my "business" check my facebook, twitter, email, pinterest, or anything else that i can check, (is it weird that i do this on the toilet? yes? eh, whatever. so im weird) than i casually leave (dont forget to wash your hands you nasties!) as if i was not there for any longer than a minute. I get to class a little early and no one knows the difference!
well my time is up for today. this was fun. let's do it again sometime.

the one about our stupid decision

we, as in my sister and roommate,

did something stupid

but awesome.

once upon a time, my dearest friend and roommate,

Sam mentioned how she has never had a pet before.

so we did what any friend/roommate would do

we took her to petco and petsmart to let her hold

hamsters, they were only $15 dollars!

so we wanted to get one!

but then we saw a chinchilla!

and you would not believe how stinkin' cute they are!!

so we bought it 

but she was so fluffy and pouncin around and sooooo soft

but expensive...

we had a life full of dreams and hopes those 4 days we had her,

then we took her back so we could get all our money back,

but i'll never forget her little fluffy tail and that whimper

chinchillin' :)

lesson learned: don't impulse buy when it comes to chinchillas

the one when i'm a hopeless romantic

i'm a fool for fairytales.
i adore happy endings.
romance movies are the very best,
they give you that little heartache,
ohh, to die for...
this week i've been moping around a lot
and to fill the time i've been watching romance movies
i think sleepless in seattle is a new favorite of mine,
pride and prejudice i literally want to jump up and down
and squeal (weird word kinda) with happiness every time i watch it!
ahh...mr. darcy
what i wouldn't do to have a mr. darcy is beyond me!!
every time i hear words flow out of his attractive mouth in that low voice,
i die. or at least my heart stops momentarily...
"you have bewitched me, body and soul, and i love, i love, i love you...i never wish to be parted from you from this day on."
please someone!! where can i get me one of those??? (and by those i mean him)
all male applicants who would agree to become my mr. darcy please sign here.

X_______________________

i'm a firm believer of "everything happens for a reason."
but sometimes, i just want things to work out my way not the way it should be.
but...things will work out. i know that. just the way they're meant to
the longer you wait for something, the more you'll appreciate it when you get it,
cause anything worth having, is definitely worth waiting for.
we tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we already have.

the one about standing firm

i've been thinking a lot about this topic so here it is. i'm all for people having their own opinions, in fact i try to always allow myself time to consider all the possible outcomes and i try to make my own opinion of certain situations. i hate having someone else's to rely on. i want to know for myself. but something has gone terribly wrong if you or someone else has made their personal opinion, and is penalized for having that belief. leave them be. discussion is good, yes! but blowing up over the situation, is just pure selfishness and immaturity. everyone has been taught at a young age, stand up for what you believe. how can we/they do this when they get judged and bashed and ridiculed for it? if you don't agree, that's ok! life will go on. why throw temper-tantrums and make a scene when someone is just doing what they believe is right? people have little respect these days for each other, and because of that they believe they can do anything they want "it's their right" no, it's not. human decency is and will always be important. why wouldn't it?? everyone will disagree in some situations, that's good, that's how it should be. it helps people think and ponder about other options and ideas. but when someone doesn't think exactly how you do, and you treat them and their idea with disrespect, you and only you are in the wrong if you don't. i've always really looked up to people who knew what they believed and stood up for that belief. not thinking they were better than anyone else, and not thinking their opinion was better, just different. like i've said, i've been thinking a lot about this subject and i've come to the conclusion, we're all going to have different ideas and opinions in some areas, when you come to someone who does disagree with yours, you treat them with the upmost respect as they should to you. consider possibilities. don't be hypocritical. don't falter and waver. be strong. and please, always stand up for what you believe, no matter what the consequence may be.

"May we ever be courageous and prepared to stand for what we believe, and if we must stand alone in the process, may we do so courageously..."

the one where i moved

it's true, i moved. i moved to college. apparently i'm a big girl now and have to go out and get a higher education and what not. juuuust kidding! it's all cool! so, like i've said before I am attending University of Nebraska-Lincoln (woot woot!) you may know us, the sea of red?

ya not gonna lie, it's pretty awesome being apart of that. we're known for our amazing crowd and all our dedicated fans. i love it. so anyway, we, and by we i mean my sister and i, moved in thursday afternoon. so it's about a three hour drive and we both had to bring our cars down, we didn't want to be on the phone the whole time with each other, yet we wanted to talk. soooooooo we brought walkie talkies! you know those things we all used in the 90's and early 2000s haha it was a blast. we just caravanned our way to Lincoln chatting it up through our little walkie talkies! so far it's great here. i love having my own place with sierra, we can be ourselves and not worry about having to impress another roommate or something. we're just on the edge of the city so it's pretty quiet still. we have free time (at least at the moment we do) to go to antique stores and asian markets and other random stuff. i've been driving a lot trying to prepare myself to drive alone in Lincoln, which i am not used to at all! although i'm loving it here so far, it was hard saying goodbye. i know my family will always be there for me, but it's sad knowing that, for now on, it's never gonna be the same as it was. i guess it's all a part of growing up but it's a little frightening as well as exciting. my best friends were hard to say goodbye to. it's gonna be different not being able to see them and laugh and cry and vent or anything else we decide to do...i'm a little worried it'll be hard to make close friendships here, and that's what i want above anything else i think. i'm gonna miss my little cousin, watching here cry as i left and hearing her beg for me to ask my "boss" if i could just not go to college was heartbreaking. i'm gonna miss that old town, being able to see all the stars at night, seeing the fields, watching the windmills, climbing 2 sets of stairs just to get to my room, gonna miss the old familiar faces around my small town. most of all i'll miss the simple things. i'm nervous and scared for what this school year will hold and yet, i'm so excited to start this new chapter in my life!

the one about my beautiful family

so we took family pictures the other day! they turned out awesome. we just used my camera, a rebel t3, and my sister's boyfriend took them and afterwards we edited them. i'm in shock of families who aren't close to one another. that would kill me. my siblings are my best friends. my parents are my role models and my strengths. they are so inspiring! i love it. i'm so blessed. i can't stress that enough! how lucky i am to have such an amazing strength in my life. my parents taught us at a young age how important our relationship with each other would be. at first we didn't understand, "our siblings would be our best friends" 5+ years ago i could've swore my siblings were my siblings, not my closest friends. but they truly are now. we enjoy being with each other, we help each other, we give each other advice, and we tease each other. we have a great time. ok so my sister is an awesome writer (her blog is here), journalism is her major and she writes for a local newspaper. because she can word things so much better than i can i just chose to pull a clipping of an article she wrote and let her explain this topic a little better. so give it a read.
p.s. i am the little sister she is referring to :)

". . .These parents knew the importance of family, the importance of sibling unity. One wouldn’t think that sharing a room would make a big difference but, I guarantee, it does.

Before I moved into my first apartment, I’d never once had my own room. I’d never even had my own bed. For as long as I can remember I have shared one with my younger sister and I have loved it. Allow me to correct that. I have usually loved it but, being human, there were times when I was younger, perhaps in elementary or junior high, when I wanted my own room. There was a point at which I moved down into the basement…for five minutes. Most of the time, however, having my sister as my roommate was wonderful. There is something about whispering late into the night that builds a relationship. There is something about laughing and crying and supporting one another in the loneliest hours that creates a dimension, an added love for that person. There’s something about learning to share everything that you own whether you want to or not. Something about learning how to be less spiteful and more forgiving. Something about learning to compromise in order to improve your living situation that forces you to grow as a person. There’s something about having less that somehow offers more.

In a world where most have their own bedroom, their own bathroom, their own computer, it’s refreshing to share. It’s gratifying to have a friendship that has been built, not on gossip or even slumber parties, but on learning to live with one another and learning to love it.

That’s why, now that we are both going to college and have the chance to live apart, we are choosing to live together. We are, once again, sharing a bedroom. Not because we have to but because we want to, because we missed it.  

Those young parents have something figured out, something that my own parents figured out long ago.  Sharing a room is going to build that sisterhood in a way nothing else ever could. Having too many children in a house far too small for everyone to have their own bedroom or bathroom, well that was perhaps one of the greatest things that my parents ever did for me." 

and now a couple of the pictures to top it off. :)

the one about Girls Camp

so last week i went to Girls Camp.
and i love girls camp. it's probably my favorite camp ever.
it's not only fun but it's also so very spiritual. 
this year i was a camp leader because i was too old to be a YCL,
luckily my mom is 1st councilor in the Stake Young Womens Program so i easily was able to go.
I was so grateful to be over the 1st years, 
they are all so loving and it's just great to hear their growing young testimonies 
something you should know, I'm kinda a touchy-feely-kind-of-person 
so as we were walking back to camp, i was walking next to a girl who had scoliosis
i gently just reached over and grabbed her hand and kept walking, 
i never would have known how much that had meant to her 
but during testimony meeting she said at that moment she was feeling very homesick 
and almsot in tears, but when i held her hand i made her think of her mother and she felt at home
she made me cry.
anyway, camp was awesome and that's why i didn't write at all so forgive me 
but Girls Camp was definitely worth it.
i'm so blessed