the one to finish up my writing class

I'm shocked at how fast this semester went by. I think it may be because I enjoyed all of my classes this semester. For what may have been the first time, I haven't been counting down the days to when classes end. There is usually one class that makes me so excited to be done with the semester. Luckily, it hasn't been like that for me. I've enjoyed my writing class this year. I've learned a lot. Probably my favorite thing it taught me was that my writing matters. It may not matter to many, but when I write it changes me, therefore, it's a big deal to me. I may not be able to express what I really think or how I really feel about some topics but the process of trying to put it into words has transformed me. I have become a different person because of each post or each writing assignment I have created. It becomes a part of me. That is so liberating to me! I may never be a phenomenal writer and that's ok. I write for myself and I'm thankful that I have the opportunity to do so.

the one for the person sitting next to me

So you don't know me. I doubt you'll see me again actually. Unless you become one of those few people I always see on campus, but never talk to, then never know if I should just introduce myself or not because we always run into each other! Anyway this is for you! Don't you feel special? Ha! You'll never know that I wrote a whole post for you. Just so I feel better about myself, let me explain why I'm doing some of the things I'm doing. You'll still probably judge me, because let's face it, you'll never read this. Ok so you're probably wondering why I'm always sitting here chuckling to myself. Well it's usually one of three things. 1. I probably got a text from a friend and it's probably about how my phone is dying and they noticed it on the creepy spin off of Find My Friends app. Or I found a funny meme on Pinterest, perhaps about grumpy cat or just a good pun. I do enjoy a good pun. Or last it might be something on Facebook that I find absolutely ridiculous enough to giggle at, like an Ellen Degeneres or Jimmy Fallon video. So I apologize if my hearty laugh is distracting in any way, but laughing is my favorite past time and it doesn't happen on campus as much so what I'm trying to say is I'm really not that sorry. So noticing that, you've probably also noticed my headphones start in my phone then proceed to move to my computer and back and forth, I don't even know how many times. Hopefully this isn't super annoying to you, I mean I really don't know why it would be, it's such a little thing. With that, I'm not even going to explain myself. Wondering why I get up so much? I have to fill up my water bottle a hundred times in one day, it's insane I know and annoying to me too! Which also means I'll need a bathroom break. Plus I get hungry. So that's probably the wrappers you're hearing as well. It's a Nutty Bar. It's always going to be a Nutty Bar. Literally every time. It's the only snack I get. They are delicious. And I will scarf it down in no time at all. You may notice I leave everything at my study space when I take my breaks. It's because I secretly trust you and it's the unspoken "please puppy-guard my belongings" routine. I mean that's basically friend status for you, random peer. Oh you noticed my homework? Nice. I probably haven't started it to be honest. It's sitting there so I look more productive. I do give it a few glances maybe even a few minutes. Thank you, I too am proud of myself for that. I tend to work better under pressure, so don't worry I'll get it done . . . eventually. I promise I am a good student, although it may not appear so now. Please don't question when I unpack my sweater or jacket from my backpack. Sometimes I run late to class. Ok, most of the time, but I'm rarely late! It's because I'm a great speed walker. Proud? Should be. I'm not sure why though. So when I have to speed walk up that blasted hill I get so sweaty. Therefore I do not need my jacket/sweater . . . but some of these classrooms are freezing! I'm not sure what the purpose of that is, but lucky for me I'm prepared! Look who paid attention at Girls Camp! So I get all cozy and nice. Other times it just makes a nice pillow. Yes that's what I was doing earlier. Napping. Haven't seen that on campus before? . . . Really? Seriously, that's sad, get out more. Everyone does it. One time someone walked in on me sneaking in a nap in the library in one of the study rooms. I scared him so bad when he turned on the lights! Haha! I mean who really expects to see a body lying on the ground when proceeding to go study?? Poor fellow. He was a nice guy though, he even shut the light off and backed out and told me I could finish my nap before he entered. Haha nah, his burst of fear was enough to make me leave for good. Anyway so when you notice my makeshift pillow come out it's because my class got cancelled or I have a half an hour break (which you know, just isn't enough time to really start homework). So if you just kept it down a little that'd be nice, well actually you haven't made a sound for awhile. Hmm . . . well if anyone else gets loud just mention something maybe. Or be that person that Shhs people. It'd be greatly appreciated, plus we're kinda friends. I mean. I did leave my stuff with you like three times already and you didn't steal anything so that's cool of you. I don't usually just start talking to myself so that means I just got a phone call. 90% chance it's my sister so I'll be talking to her about nothing important for awhile. Don't make eye contact with me because I'm not talking to you, I'm trying to funnel my voice to the little white box speaker thing on the headphones. If there is a long pause and you're curious if I hung up . . . I doubt it. Believe me, you'll know. Otherwise it's just moments when we have nothing to talk about but some company is sometimes nice, I mean you didn't think I was this unsocial with everyone did you? I'm a very social person actually. Oh goodness there is so much you don't know! Well, it'll just have to stay that way because the time has come for me to leave. I know you're thinking it's about time and to that I only have to say, rude. I really thought we got close, although this conversation did seem pretty one-sided. Well knowing that I laughed pretty hard writing this you're again questioning what the heck could I possibly be doing. Ha! I bet blogging about you wasn't on the list of hypotheses! Anyway, it's been nice. Dear peer, I hope you accomplish much more without me by your side---until we meet again.

the one about April 6th

My heart is so full on this beautiful day. Elder Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, "Today is April 6th. We know by revelation that today is the actual and accurate date of the Savior's birth. April 6th also is the day on which The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was organized." (see also D&C 20:1) As I sit here pondering each of these events I am filled with complete amazement. How wonderful it is to know with a surety that my Savior did come. That He lived a perfect life. He came in perfect wisdom, leaving the side of God the Father to take mortality upon Himself. He fulfilled the promise He made to satisfy the demands of justice and mercy and to complete the Plan of Salvation. His life is our only perfect example and becoming like Him should be our divine goal; following and learning from that perfect life He gave for us. Doing this will allow us to grow, to change, to progress, and to enter into His presence with the Father again.

"I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,

Confused at the grace that so fully He proffers me.

I tremble to know that for me He wad crucified, 

That for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled and died.

I marvel that He would descend from His throne divine

To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,

That He should extend His great love unto such as I,

Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.

I think of His hand pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!

Such mercy, Such love and devotion can I forget?

No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,

Until at the glorified throne I kneel at His feet.

Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me

Enough to die for me!

Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!"

I Stand All Amazed

I'm not only grateful for my Redeemer, Jesus Christ, but also for His true and living Church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I feel as Elder Holland does when he said, "The Gospel of Jesus Christ means everything to me. Everything! Everything I have, everything I cherish, everything that matters to me, beginning with my family, everything I adore, I cherish, and love, and am grateful for, I have because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ." His Church was organized and given to us to be taught that Gospel and to facilitate and help others receive of the blessings within it. I'm grateful for Joseph Smith. For his undying faith and determination to fulfill his role in restoring it on the earth. How blessed I feel to be a part of it. This day brings me so much joy and fills me with so much gratitude! I know He lives and He has given every tool we need to be with Him and our Heavenly Father again, and this is reason to rejoice!

the one about my thoughts on Conference

Every six months I anxiously await the next General Conference. It's funny, to those outside of the Church, 10 hours of sitting and listening to someone else's grandparents talk doesn't seem exciting. Yet, all around the world, millions of people prepare to be taught for hours by the leaders of the Church. This General Conference was spiritually enlightening like the others. Perhaps one of my favorite talks was Elder Hales. He spoke on the Holy Ghost. I appreciated it so much because it is something I've been wanting to work on since I've returned home on my mission. It seemed so much easier to recognize the Spirit then. Elder Hales taught that the third member of the Godhead was a unique and cherished blessing and gift from the Father to be our constant companion. He is an instrument for the Father to communicate His plan to us. This is a special gift and shouldn't be misused. Growing up I heard often the phrase, "Go and pray about it." Which is still a great idea! But what I learned is that our Heavenly Father granted us an opportunity to use another great gift. The gift of agency. Hales said as we take every question we've ever had and expect answers from the Holy Ghost we make the gift and task trivial. As we come to understand the purpose of the Holy Ghost we come to trust the presence and respect His calling. I'm thankful for the gift of the Spirit. I'm excited to apply what I've learned from this Conference, as well as others. I hope I can recognize the Spirit more so I can utilize the blessing it is in my life.

the one about blogging

I began blogging as a junior in high school and since then I have learned so much about myself. Blogging has given me a voice on passionate subjects, has become an extension of my journal, and has taught me who I truly am. I have learned that despite my lack of education in writing, I am a writer. I have learned that my best writing comes from topics that I am passionate about. As I write on subjects that matter to me my voice can be heard and my few words have a say in a pool of opinions. Important experiences and memorable times are also recorded, thus making my blog an extension of my journal. A blog becomes a part of you when special moments are written on its pages. This journal never fades and is never lost. As I have written throughout the years I am able to recognize how I’ve grown. I have learned what I am passionate about and what my hopes and dreams are. As I’ve written I’ve been able to notice flaws and weaknesses that allow me to change and progress. Looking back now, I'm grateful for those few posts each year that have helped me so much.

the one about my person

One of the greatest blessings in my life is my incredible sister, Sierra. I have looked up to, and modeled my life after hers for as long as i can remember. She is humble, intelligent, kind, beautiful, trustworthy, wise, confident, determined, adventurous, compassionate, patient, hard-working, loyal and valiant. She's been so inspiring to so many people but I don't think anyone will ever love her as much as I do. In every way she is my person. She is the one I go to for everything. She is the one I can always count on to laugh at my jokes. She makes me a better person in every way. I will never know what I did to deserve her friendship. I will never be able to explain what she means to me, but luckily I will never have to, she always has been able to interpret my thoughts anyway. 

the one about the youngest

My brother once said, Sequoia was me to the extreme. It's almost flattering having a mini version of yourself. Sequoia is a hoot. I'm cracking up typing this because I'm thinking of the little spaz. Sequoia has taught me a lot about hard work and about love. She is the most willing to put in the work and time into things she loves. She is the first willing to help Dad outside with the chores or farm work. She is the most disciplined with reaching her personal goals. She is the one that challenges herself and pushes herself because she wants to see the results of her work. It's amazing to me how she does that at her age when I would come up with excuses and ways to get out of anything. She loves nature. She loves being outside and spending time with Heavenly Father's creations. She shows her love through her time and touch. If she loves you, you will know because the chances of her climbing all over you will be very high. She thinks its necessary to be right next to you at any given moment just so you know she is present. I love the fact that she loves to show that love (most of the time that is). She's always willing to cuddle, hug, and spend a moment with you. I'm so thankful for her outgoing and sometimes unnecessary energy. I'm grateful to have a younger sister who cares so much to put forth work and to show love. I'm blessed to have her as a best friend. She strengthens and brings something to our family no one else could. She makes life interesting and I wouldn't want it any other way.

the one about growing up in a small town

I will forever be grateful for my childhood and for my very small town of Arcadia. I'm so proud to call it home and everyone knows I'm so proud of the state of Nebraska! It really is "the good life." There were so many blessings from being raised in my village. Here are only a few:

1. I got to participate in almost anything I wanted to
• sports: basketball, volleyball, cheerleading, track, and softball. 
• the arts: theater, band (marching and concert), and speech
• academics: quiz bowl and debate
2. I always felt safe
• i knew everyone in my town and could trust 90% of them. it was a community where we took care of each other
3. I knew everyone
• believe me, growing up with the same 9 kids in your class from preschool to high school graduation, you won't have many things you don't know about them
4. My parents never had to worry 
• they always knew where I was because the closest town was a half an hour away so I was probably in a 6 block radius
5. I learned about hard work
• I had to balance a life of activities, church, and work. life was interesting

I loved the opportunities and lessons I learned from being raised in my little village. I'm grateful for the experiences and memories that I had that were rare for most children growing up. I love being a small town kid and will always be thankful because of it!

the one about transferring to BYU

I have never wanted wanted to go to BYU. I thought it was a great school and was happy it was around, but it never felt like it was the place for me. My senior year I didn't even fill out the application--I just wasn't interested. This was probably unusual for a young LDS girl not wanting to go to BYU to be surrounded by others like her. Being raised with the same 30 members in my little branch my whole life and never having many with my same standards and same beliefs, I was used to standing out. In fact, I almost enjoyed it, not that I got a lot of attention, but I was well-known. It was kind of nice to have an audience that watched me, that knew I was the Mormon girl. I loved being that example, although at times it was difficult to feel my every move was being analyzed, I enjoyed the questions, respect, and understanding of my peers. So many LDS youth go to BYU to finally be in the majority and that's great for them! It just wasn't me. I went to my dream school, The University of Nebraska Lincoln! I loved it at UNL. I loved my major, I loved my friends group, I loved my singles ward, and I loved the school. After two semesters of attending there I began meeting with my Bishop and realized I felt like I was missing something in my life. I didn't know what it was but finally after months of praying about it I knew it was my mission. While on the mission I had planned to go back and finish my undergrad at UNL. I had so many sisters and companions telling me that I should transfer to here or there and my response was always the same, "Nah, I love Lincoln and I'm just not that interested in those schools." For months this happened. One sister finally shot at me saying, "Sister, you have to at least pray about it. What if Heavenly Father's plan for you has changed." It took me by surprise but I considered the idea of it. When I had been out for about a year I began thinking more about goals or plans for when I returned. I prayed that when the time was right I would know what to do. No longer than a week had passed when I woke up in the middle of the night sat up in my bed and had an intense and urgent feeling, "You need to apply to BYU." It was a simple thought but a pressing feeling. With permission from my President I was able to work on my application the next preparation day. I noticed the application was due in a month. That gave me 4 p-days to work on it--I take that back, 3 one of those days was a holiday the office and library would be closed. I did everything in my power to finish and submit it on time. I had to contact UNL and send my transcripts and on the last p-day before it was due I had sent everything off hoping it would arrive on time. I didn't necessarily want to go still but I wanted to follow my prompting. After about a month I heard back and saw that I had been accepted. I wasn't sure what I should do at this point. I continued to pray and just felt at peace that I wouldn't have been given a prompting if I wasn't suppose to follow and act upon it. I registered for classes for the fall and began mentally preparing myself that I would no longer be a cornhusker, but a cougar (let's be honest, I'll always be a cornhusker at heart). At the return home of my mission I had so many willing to help. A companion from Utah helped find me housing and I had so many wonderful people seeing me off as a began another chapter of my life. The first few months here at BYU were different for sure. The atmosphere is totally different than UNL. At first I missed Nebraska so much. I missed the people and the relaxed and slow lifestyle. I felt everyone was so uptight here and in a hurry. I didn't know why I was here besides the fact that it was a part of Heavenly Father's plan. After the first few rough months I began to like it, a lot in fact! I feel so blessed to be here now. I'm grateful for the spiritual prompting I was given. I'm thankful for good religious people to teach me and be a part of my education. I love being able to talk about my faith in different settings and have conversations focused on our beliefs in class. I love saying prayers before football games, classes, lectures, and exams. I thankful for firesides and devotionals throughout the week to increase the spirit on campus and in our lives. I love BYU and will be forever grateful for the opportunity I have now to study on this campus with so many wonderful friends.