the one about EFY

I am so beyond grateful for the chance I had this summer to be an EFY counselor. I have never had a more exhausting, exciting, rewarding, entertaining, and spiritual job! I loved every minute of it. From my first week to my fifth, I learned lessons from the classes, leaders, and especially the youth that I couldn't have learned in any other way. Words can't even describe my gratitude. Each Sunday I would be handed a list of 9-15 names of the girls that would be in my group and each Sunday I would almost be in tears. I loved them so much from the start! After meeting the girls on Monday and meeting the rest of my wonderful companies, I always felt an instant connection with all my youth. Each week they impressed me with their testimonies, their consideration, their love, and their actions. They have changed me and have made me a better person. Everything we do at EFY is to help each other strengthen our testimonies and relationships with our Savior Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. We played games, we cheered, we laughed, we sang, we were taught in firesides, lessons, and classes, we cried, and we bore powerful testimonies of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is amazing to see how inspired of a program EFY is and what a difference it makes in these young people's lives. A few of my favorite activities throughout the week included:
Meet Your Counselor: This is the first time I get to meet my girls and I'm always just bursting with excitement so of course this would be my first favorite!
Gospel Study: I love testifying of the blessings from personal study. It is perhaps one of the greatest lessons anyone could learn at EFY, that God answers are questions and can provide revelation and knowledge through taking time to study the scriptures.
Games Night: Although it was a challenge to close my big mouth, I loved prepping for games night because it was amazing seeing how unified it made the companies each week. As they struggled to work together without the counselors help they had to rely on each other. Also games night is just a bunch of games so of course it'll be up there.
Pizza Night: I love pizza night with my girls (sad we don't get one for stay-at-home sessions). It is so fun to get to just talk and get to know the girls on a more personal level and strengthen bonds.
Young Women's Activity: Although I know I'm not qualified to teach the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I loved studying for my girls and focusing on how to help them strengthen their understanding, appreciation, and testimony in and of the Savior. It was always such a powerful experience for me and I'm grateful they trusted me with questions each week. I learned far more from them then I could ever teach!
Testimony Meeting: It's amazing to hear someone who has become so special to you stand and testify of their beliefs. These were sacred moments for me that I will forever remember.
Sharing the Gospel: Because I loved my mission with everything I have, this is one of my favorite moments. We role play gospel related questions in pairs. It made me feel like I was a full-time missionary again!
The EFY Medley: This is always my favorite part to sing with my company each week and look at each of them, with so much love. I cried every time as I thought about the memories we've made throughout the week and how much I'll miss them.
By the end I knew I had gained friends for a lifetime. And although I literally bawled each week saying goodbye, I would do this summer all over again if I could.
To all my youth from Logan2, Logan3, Logan SAH2, Provo10A, and South Jordan SAH, please remember how much you all mean to me. Please remember and apply what the Spirit taught you at EFY 2016. Please know how loved you are by a perfect Father in Heaven. My greatest wish for you all is to cherish and love the Gospel with all your heart. I've said it so many times but it's worth repeating; everything good in my life is because I chose the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is worth it. I cannot wait to hear from each of you and to see how Heavenly Father uses you to bless and strengthen those around you! Love and miss you all so so much!

          

          

            

                  

the one about the trial of their faith

            From the beginning our Father in Heaven has always wanted the very best for His children. He desires for us to grow in character, in testimony, and in faith. He created a marvelous plan that would help each of us do just that. We learn so much from His Great Plan of Happiness, but one of the greatest opportunities and blessings is the chance we have to learn by faith in this life. The struggles of mortality will not be completely overcome without belief in a divine Creator and His ability. Within the book of Alma, in The Book of Mormon, we read, “Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.” Many times are faith is strengthened through experiences. Throughout my life I have received witnesses, which enhance my faith. The opposite is also true. Trials will be given to us where we are expected to have faith. If we endure we will receive a witness and a deeper testimony of the principles.

            The strategy of believing and waiting for a witness seems frustrating and in a way is like teasing a pet; seeing something and wanting it but not always getting it just by leaping for it, more is needed. I hate to refer to it as a strategy, but in a way it is, an interesting one at that. Heavenly Father is perfect and has said, “My ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” So we know that His plan is perfect and His way of achieving His purpose is also perfect. Thus, this way of trying us is perfect as well.

            Today we expect to be handed much and work for little. We hope that by putting forth a little work that great and successful things will come because of it. People want what they want when they want it and how they wanted it. Patience and hard work have little to do with anything when it comes to most people getting what they want. Does anything good ever come without hard work though? The Lord knows exactly what is necessary for us to truly be happy. As He said to the Nephites, he says to us, “I will try the faith of my people.” Everything worth anything requires hard work. A testimony of the Gospel and the doctrines are no different. Faith and work go hand in hand when trying to deepen our roots of testimony. We can expect and hope for mountains to climb in order to develop a surety of His gospel.

            Throughout The Book of Mormon examples of this are shown and taught that we may develop further understanding. In Alma chapter thirty-two, the prophet Alma [the younger], teaches the Zoramites about faith. He compares it to a seed that must be planted and nourished in order to grow. This parable describes what we can expect as we do the same in our life. When we believe in a principle it is just a small and simple seed. When we plant it we rely on faith, expecting that it will grow and become mighty with time. As we exert our faith, hoping that it will grow, and our time and work, nourishing it daily that is when the progress occurs. The witness of that faith is not manifested until we actually see a sprout. We have knowledge that His plan is perfect when the tiny seed of faith grows into a tree and produces fruit. Alma tells us, “Your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant.” The definition of dormant is, alive but not actively growing. So the process of developing that knowledge is the growth and activity of our faith but once we receive a witness our faith is still, until it is exercised in the next trial of our faith. We learn in Alma’s sermon, perhaps the greatest chapter on faith in all of The Book of Mormon, we “shall reap the rewards of [our] faith, and [our] diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit.”

            The stripling warriors’ experience serves as a flawless example of a trial of faith. Towards the end of the book of Alma, war is sweeping across the civilizations. The Anti-Nephi-Lehies, or the people of Ammon, had covenanted with God “that they would not take up their weapons of war against their brethren to shed blood.” With more warriors needed to fight to protect the rights of the church and government, many considered to dismiss their covenant to help. Moroni would not allow such a thing and with that 2,000 of their young sons vowed and covenanted to fight and protect the rights of God. These young men had no experience in war unlike the Lamanites who were raised, at the time, to hate and kill their enemies. “Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death . . . they did not doubt, God would deliver them.” With that faith they went to battle prepared to face even death. To Moroni’s surprise “not one soul of them [had] fallen to the earth.” There are times in my life when I cannot comprehend how I will overcome a trial. If I can apply the same principles and exhort the faith that the 2,000 stripling warriors did, I have the Lord’s promise I can overcome anything He thinks necessary for me to experience. Like them, I can trust the truths I was taught at a young age. Like them, I can hold tight to the covenants that I have made and find strength in them.  Like them, I can overcome both spiritual and physical death through my Savior, Jesus Christ.

            Later in The Book of Mormon another experience is recorded where great faith is required. Samuel the Lamanite had prophesied to the people the birth of their, and our, Savior. He testified of His coming to redeem the world of their sins. He told them of the signs that would surely come to reveal the truthfulness of his message. A day, a night, and a day that appeared to be as one day would be a sign, along with a new star. Five years later, there was “great uproar throughout the land” for the “words of Samuel [were] not fulfilled.” Unbelievers set aside a day to put to death all those who believed in the signs unless they should come to pass. The faithful watched steadfastly for the signs falling to the ground praying for their lives to be spared. The prophet Nephi “cried mightily unto the Lord all that day.” Finally, the voice of the Lord came answering his prayers saying, “Be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given.” Even then though, the believers still had to exercise their faith in the words of the Savior. “At the going down of the sun there was no darkness.” Their witness did finally come, but only after exhorting all their faith and strength. I would hope that I would have the determination to hold onto every ounce of faith as they did. They believed in the promises of ancient and modern prophets whom the Lord had sent. Luckily, I may never have an experience where my faith determines my life, but I will have moments when I question how long is long enough. I’ll have trials where I just am ready to give up at any moment and loose everything that I have stood for. I know that I have temptations where it would be so much easier to just give in than believe and pray for strength to withstand. But as the faithful saints stood steadfastly within their trials I too can hold on awhile longer until the Lord seeeth fit to remove my afflictions.

            Perhaps one of my favorite scriptural examples of someone who received a witness of their faith is the Brother of Jared. As the Brother of Jared prepared his people to cross the ocean in their vessels he faced three different trials. The need for air, the need to steer, and the need to have light. For the first two obstacles the Lord explained what was needed and the provided a way. For the last obstacle the Lord asked the Brother of Jared, “What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?” I’m sure with a lot of thought and consideration, the Brother of Jared presented sixteen stones to the Lord. With all the faith he had, the Brother of Jared asked the Lord to touch them that they may be lit to bring light to each of the barges. Now I’m sure there was a bit of hesitation as he presented his plan to the Lord but because of his faith and knowledge in the Savior, he trusted the Lord would edify his desires. I don’t believe that the Lord touched each one and the showed himself to his servant, but instead that it was a trial of his faith. Hoping, praying, and believing that he would light up the next one and the next one until one by one each were lit and the Savior revealed Himself to him. “Never has man come before me with such exceeding faith as thou hast; for were it not so ye could not have see my finger.” Through this prophet’s diligent work and faith he had knowledge of the Savior’s very own body made of flesh and blood. Only following his trial did he receive that witness and understanding. I may not need to devise a plan to have light but I will face obstacles in my life where I need to know who does provide the light. There are times when I feel lost in the darkness and through my work and faith will I find comfort and safety and knowledge in my Redeemer and Savior, The Light of the World.

           I have never had my family turn against me and seek my life, nor have I ever been asked to leave my home and country. I will never be asked to leave my family and face half a lifetime of abuse while preaching the gospel. My city may never be overtaken and forced to provide for another King. My life may never be threatened unless I deny my faith, nor will I probably have to participate as my entire civilization turned to bloodshed. I recognize how blessed I am and I’m truly grateful for this life that I have. With that, I also know that I will continue to have challenges, temptations, and trials throughout my life that are designed for me. As I follow the example of so many prophets and servants of the Lord from The Book of Mormon, I know that I will have the strength to overcome anything “for [I will] receive not witness until after the trial of [my] faith.” Our Heavenly Father’s plan is perfect and it is through it that we will gain the testimony that is needed to return to His presence.

the one about Safety for the Soul

In the scriptures Christ’s followers are referred to as His covenant people. He has promised to protect and guide them as they strive to live and keep the commandments. In a world where so many people fear what is to come, we have that promise and principle to rely on, that God is at the helm and will take us safely home. He has provided security for our soul and peace as we seek His Gospel.

            In Safety for the Soul, Elder Holland, warns us that even the most sure of foundations will be tested and tried in the last days. It is necessary to be tempted. It is necessary to ask questions. We are not to follow blindly the counsel given, but rather seek for a confirmation from the Spirit of those same truths. The “enemy of truths” will always strive to lead us astray. I believe this is a critical experience. There is something so sacred and so personal to have your most precious truths be questioned and have to find that answer through the Holy Ghost and personal revelation and then be able rebuild and strengthen that foundation.

            Questions are not what bring spiritual destruction. Spiritual destruction is falling away from the principles of the Gospel. Our Father’s plea is to stay for away from destruction. He counsels us to stay close to the truths we know and cherish. We are to have daily communion with Him, to always have His spirit to be with us. Heartbreaking, it must be for the Father to see His imperfect, but loved, children fall or walk away from truths they once knew. Holland compares this to the vision of The Tree of Life. There are those that never even reach the iron rod, or the tree of life and are destroyed. Others are ashamed once they are there and partake and fall away. Lastly, those who follow the iron rod are obedient despite the difficult and treacherous temptation and mist of darkness.

It was interesting to hear that everyone in the vision faced the mist of darkness at some point. Race, wealth, sex, and age are not discriminated. It was not just those who lacked a foundation of testimony. It wasn’t only those who were the strongest or the weakest. In this test of life, everyone will be tempted. The mist befalls everyone because we all need that growth that comes from withstanding burdens and trials if we are to live with God again. The Lord knows are struggles. He knows are weaknesses and strengths. He individually has felt them.

            I love the symbolism we learned of the rod of iron in class. As we hold to the rod we are walking hand in hand with Christ and He leads us to safety and happiness. He is beside us the whole journey through if we choose to just hold on and cling to Him. I can’t help but think of the fear and surely the unknowing that must have accompanied those holding to the rod. The mist of darkness and temptation so thick around them they can’t see, but they trust, and they hold on “tenaciously” to Christ and His word. I have so much respect and admiration for those that suffered the whole way but just hoped and prayed that, “we are almost there” meant the next arms length away. The relief and pure joy that must have been theirs as they finally reach the tree of life and partake of the goodness of God’s undying love. His love is His Son, His love, is His sacrifice. The most precious of all fruits is the gift of the Atonement.

            “Christ is the safe harbor” Holland states within this talk. I don’t think I recognized that phrase as closely as I did this time watching it. In difficult times when we feel we are being tossed and turned and the waves beat upon us, we need to remember where are peace comes from and who we turn to for all things. Christ is our exemplar in every aspect. He is our safety net. He is the protection and the security in the trials of our lives. Everything we do should be to bring us closer to Him.

            We recognize His pivotal and instrumental role in our lives because we have the Book of Mormon. It is what teaches us the importance of the Atonement. Not just the how it was done, where it was done, and what was done; but it teaches and testifies of the necessity of it, how to access the eternal healing, and why His willingness was essential. The Book of Mormon teaches us more about Christ than any other book. Truly, that is why it is the most correct book on the earth. If Christ is our safety, and He surely is, then the Book of Mormon is necessary to find all the peace and happiness that this world has to offer. When we are asked to become perfect in the New Testament surely we would be given more guidance on how that must be. There is more, 531 more pages to direct and teach us to become like our Savior and “be perfected in Him.”

            It is not possible, in the next life, but especially in this one, to obtain the eternal joy that is to be ours without the truths of the Book of Mormon. In these last days we are threatened to deny all faith and hope in humanity. We are God’s children. We will not deny the faith. But we also will not have all that He has to offer without having a spiritual and sacred time to read, ponder, and pray about the ancient text of scripture. It is to be our comfort, our support, and our liahona. We are to cherish and return, not only to the pages of the Book of Mormon, but also the experience itself, when we gained a testimony of its divinity. As we recount those feelings we are reminded how real revelation is and how close He is to and for us.

            The book could not possibly be in the hands of so many without the faithfulness of its humble translator. Joseph Smith is the epitome of diligence and faith in my eyes. “The crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty” Holland once stated, and surely Joseph had nothing but loyalty to His calling and ordination. I don’t believe anyone will ever know and recognize everything that Joseph Smith had to endure to bring forth the dispensation of times. In a letter to his wife, Emma, He once said, “God is my friend. In him I shall find comfort. I have given my life into his hands. I am prepared to go at his call. I desire to be with Christ. I count not my life dear to me, only to do his will.” His loyalty to our Father in Heaven is one of the noblest of acts I can recall.

            Joseph and Hyrum gave their lives as a testimony and witness to all, that they would not deny the sacred book and work, which they were called to do. This stands as evidence to everyone, in any time, that this work is true. Like many prophets from past dispensations, Joseph was asked to seal His testimony with His blood. Thus proving and testifying that He would not ever dismiss His encounter with God and Jesus Christ, reject the Book of Mormon, and His pivotal role in God’s restored Kingdom on the earth again.

            I, like so many, have received answers to my humble, but sincere, prayers to know if the Book of Mormon is true. I’m beyond grateful for Father’s love and mercy to bless us with so much. I’m eternally thankful to have the knowledge of the sanctity of the Gospel as well as the Church. I have never been asked to die for the Gospel, and probably never will. I have, though, been asked to live for it. My hope is to be as loyal to my testimony, my covenants and to God, as Joseph was to the end.

the one about my Grandma Gloria

I was only six years old when Grandma Gloria passed away, but her legacy continues to inspire me. Some of my fondest memories are walking hand in hand with my older sister to her house after school. We would climb the counter to peek into the candy cabinet and await the poached eggs with milk that would surely be our dinner. Her tiger lamp, famous spiral iron staircase, and the enchanting carousel horse are just the possessions that made grandma so unique to my cousins and me. Now I recognize the pivotal example she was to so many through her instant and permanent testimony of the Book of Mormon.

Gloria was born in a small town in central Nebraska in the year of 1928. She was an only child for most of her life. Her parents adopted her brother and sister after she was an adult. Her place of education was a one-room, country schoolhouse outside the town of Burwell. Her family was taught in the ways of the Methodist faith, but rarely attended.

 Annually, the quaint little school would bring in Catholic Nuns for a week to teach the students stories from the Bible. For days, they would read and discuss the lessons learned from Noah, Moses, David, and other prophets and people in the Old and New Testament. At the end of the week, they were each asked to stand in front of the class and recount their favorite story. At the age of seven, my grandma stood and shared her favorite story, “…when God lit the stones so the men could see in the boats.”  The teachers were puzzled. “Gloria, that’s a nice story but it is not one of the Bible stories.” With the closest LDS chapel and, likely, the closest Book of Mormon (what is the Book of Mormon? read here) as well, hundreds of miles away, her mother, the teachers, as well as herself, had no idea how she had heard this story. When asked, she had responded, “I don't know how I know it, but I know it’s true.” They asked every minister they came in contact with about the story but no one seemed to have ever heard such a tale. Gloria never forgot.

As years passed, that experience was always in the back of Gloria’s mind. But soon she met Norman Sillivan, the love of her life, and they were married in January of 1947. They had four children and adopted four, as well. Gloria and Norman raised their kids with the values of hard work, faith, and determination. They were also members of the Methodist church, although they didn’t attend but for special occasions. Still, they were known for their honesty, loyalty, values, and hard work.

In the summer of 1972, my grandparents decided to take the three kids that were still left at home on a trip to California to visit family. As fortune would have it, Salt Lake City was where they spent the night after a long day’s drive. After recognizing the tourist options within the city, they decided to at least walk around Temple Square. Not surprisingly, they were handed many brochures, as well as a Book of Mormon. After their planned 15-minute walk turned into three hours, they headed on their way.

As they drove, grandma read bits and pieces of her new literature out loud to her family.  They soon returned home and the book was placed on the shelf. Years passed and it collected dust. Finally, in the year of 1975, my grandma picked up the Book of Mormon once again. In the little village of Arcadia, Nebraska, Mormonism was hardly heard of.  And the few people, who had heard of it, knew very little about it. This included my grandma, other than the few hours spent in Salt Lake City.

My dad, the youngest of the eight children, only knows the story through his eyes. He was playing pool with his father in the basement of their little farmhouse. Suddenly, they heard a scream, along with tears, coming from just up the stairs. Upon reaching the top, they found Gloria sitting with the Book of Mormon in hand. With happiness and what must have also been shock and confusion, she shouted “I found my story!” Sure enough, out of curiosity, she had taken the book from the shelf and began reading where she had left off: Ether 3.

She was hungry for more; more knowledge about this book. She had so many questions. She did know one thing though, the story she had known all those years before as a small child, really did happen. Gloria wrote Church headquarters in Salt Lake City, asking for additional information about the church and the message of this Book of Mormon. For three years she waited, until one day two elders, missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, walked into her local business asking for a Gloria Sillivan.  She recognized who they must be immediately and responded, “What took you so long?”

Norman, Gloria, and the two youngest of the family, my aunt and my father, began meeting with these Mormon missionaries. The elders came, from the closest branch 100 miles away, to teach the family. Within just a few short months, the four were baptized on October 11, 1978 in the Middle Loup River. The recent converts were not always fortunate enough to make the drive to a newly formed branch only 70 miles away every Sunday. But members came for visits to strengthen and support their family.  Meetings were held in their home and as their testimonies increased, so did their church attendance. For years they continued to drive 140 miles round trip each Sunday and Wednesday as new callings came.

Now, 37 years later, I see the influence my courageous grandmother had on so many. Her leading example has brought dozens to the truth and to the knowledge of the gospel. She testified through the power of the Holy Ghost to all those who questioned and doubted her faith. The first daughter to be baptized brought her husband into the church and my father married a young lady from their first branch. Eventually, the church grew in our remote area and my dad was asked to help form a branch closer to home, this time only 30 miles away. The Broken Bow Branch was created in 1992.  My father was called as the first Branch President, fulfilling a statement from one of the missionaries that baptized them: “Someday this area will see a President Sillivan.”

On October 11, 2012, exactly 34 years from the day of her own baptism, two more of Gloria’s daughters were baptized. The gospel, and her example, continues to bless many of her grandchildren and great grandchildren to this day.

My grandma’s role in building the church in central Nebraska has been pivotal. My grandma’s role in building my family’s testimony has been without measure. Her unshakeable testimony of the gospel has taught me patience in learning, faith in God, and to believe that good things come to those who seek after truth. Her faith in a simple book, and even more so, within a short story, has testified to me that miracles do still occur. In Mormon 9:19 it says, “And if there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles and yet be an unchangeable Being? And behold, I say unto you he changeth not; if so he would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles.”

Heavenly Father is aware of every individual. He knows their needs, their desires, and their heartaches and will always send assistance. He sent aid to my grandmother exactly when she needed it, to eventually bring her the eternal truths that would not only bless her life, but her family’s life for generations to come on both sides of the veil.

Although my testimony may have first started on the foundation of my parents, I too, now know firmly that my Heavenly Father lives and truly did send Jesus Christ to be the Savior of the World. The Book of Mormon will bring any honest seeker to truth and happiness. All the blessings He has in store for us in this life come through faithfulness to His commandments. I am so thankful for my testimony and the witness of my grandma, Gloria Sillivan. 

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