the one about EFY

I am so beyond grateful for the chance I had this summer to be an EFY counselor. I have never had a more exhausting, exciting, rewarding, entertaining, and spiritual job! I loved every minute of it. From my first week to my fifth, I learned lessons from the classes, leaders, and especially the youth that I couldn't have learned in any other way. Words can't even describe my gratitude. Each Sunday I would be handed a list of 9-15 names of the girls that would be in my group and each Sunday I would almost be in tears. I loved them so much from the start! After meeting the girls on Monday and meeting the rest of my wonderful companies, I always felt an instant connection with all my youth. Each week they impressed me with their testimonies, their consideration, their love, and their actions. They have changed me and have made me a better person. Everything we do at EFY is to help each other strengthen our testimonies and relationships with our Savior Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. We played games, we cheered, we laughed, we sang, we were taught in firesides, lessons, and classes, we cried, and we bore powerful testimonies of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is amazing to see how inspired of a program EFY is and what a difference it makes in these young people's lives. A few of my favorite activities throughout the week included:
Meet Your Counselor: This is the first time I get to meet my girls and I'm always just bursting with excitement so of course this would be my first favorite!
Gospel Study: I love testifying of the blessings from personal study. It is perhaps one of the greatest lessons anyone could learn at EFY, that God answers are questions and can provide revelation and knowledge through taking time to study the scriptures.
Games Night: Although it was a challenge to close my big mouth, I loved prepping for games night because it was amazing seeing how unified it made the companies each week. As they struggled to work together without the counselors help they had to rely on each other. Also games night is just a bunch of games so of course it'll be up there.
Pizza Night: I love pizza night with my girls (sad we don't get one for stay-at-home sessions). It is so fun to get to just talk and get to know the girls on a more personal level and strengthen bonds.
Young Women's Activity: Although I know I'm not qualified to teach the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I loved studying for my girls and focusing on how to help them strengthen their understanding, appreciation, and testimony in and of the Savior. It was always such a powerful experience for me and I'm grateful they trusted me with questions each week. I learned far more from them then I could ever teach!
Testimony Meeting: It's amazing to hear someone who has become so special to you stand and testify of their beliefs. These were sacred moments for me that I will forever remember.
Sharing the Gospel: Because I loved my mission with everything I have, this is one of my favorite moments. We role play gospel related questions in pairs. It made me feel like I was a full-time missionary again!
The EFY Medley: This is always my favorite part to sing with my company each week and look at each of them, with so much love. I cried every time as I thought about the memories we've made throughout the week and how much I'll miss them.
By the end I knew I had gained friends for a lifetime. And although I literally bawled each week saying goodbye, I would do this summer all over again if I could.
To all my youth from Logan2, Logan3, Logan SAH2, Provo10A, and South Jordan SAH, please remember how much you all mean to me. Please remember and apply what the Spirit taught you at EFY 2016. Please know how loved you are by a perfect Father in Heaven. My greatest wish for you all is to cherish and love the Gospel with all your heart. I've said it so many times but it's worth repeating; everything good in my life is because I chose the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is worth it. I cannot wait to hear from each of you and to see how Heavenly Father uses you to bless and strengthen those around you! Love and miss you all so so much!

          

          

            

                  

the one about April 6th

My heart is so full on this beautiful day. Elder Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, "Today is April 6th. We know by revelation that today is the actual and accurate date of the Savior's birth. April 6th also is the day on which The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was organized." (see also D&C 20:1) As I sit here pondering each of these events I am filled with complete amazement. How wonderful it is to know with a surety that my Savior did come. That He lived a perfect life. He came in perfect wisdom, leaving the side of God the Father to take mortality upon Himself. He fulfilled the promise He made to satisfy the demands of justice and mercy and to complete the Plan of Salvation. His life is our only perfect example and becoming like Him should be our divine goal; following and learning from that perfect life He gave for us. Doing this will allow us to grow, to change, to progress, and to enter into His presence with the Father again.

"I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,

Confused at the grace that so fully He proffers me.

I tremble to know that for me He wad crucified, 

That for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled and died.

I marvel that He would descend from His throne divine

To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,

That He should extend His great love unto such as I,

Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.

I think of His hand pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!

Such mercy, Such love and devotion can I forget?

No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,

Until at the glorified throne I kneel at His feet.

Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me

Enough to die for me!

Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!"

I Stand All Amazed

I'm not only grateful for my Redeemer, Jesus Christ, but also for His true and living Church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I feel as Elder Holland does when he said, "The Gospel of Jesus Christ means everything to me. Everything! Everything I have, everything I cherish, everything that matters to me, beginning with my family, everything I adore, I cherish, and love, and am grateful for, I have because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ." His Church was organized and given to us to be taught that Gospel and to facilitate and help others receive of the blessings within it. I'm grateful for Joseph Smith. For his undying faith and determination to fulfill his role in restoring it on the earth. How blessed I feel to be a part of it. This day brings me so much joy and fills me with so much gratitude! I know He lives and He has given every tool we need to be with Him and our Heavenly Father again, and this is reason to rejoice!

the one about the Provo City Center Temple

I'm in awe as I think about the magnificence of the new Provo City Center Temple. There are simply no words to fully describe it's beauty! I consider myself so fortunate and blessed that I live here in Provo the same time as the open house and dedication. Before the fire, the Provo Tabernacle had served as a stake center for many here in Utah Valley. It has a unique history and stands as a reminder of the heritage of the pioneers and the work and faith put into building Zion in Provo. In December 2010 the loved tabernacle caught fire and all but the outer shell was lost. Months later President Monson announced it would be rebuilt with full preservation and restoration to be the 2nd temple in Provo. I never had any attachment to the tabernacle nor did the announcement effect me much until I moved and transferred to BYU. Now, I live within the new Provo City Center Temple district and I am completely in love with it. There once was an article in the Ensign of how the building itself is a parable of our lives. Our Heavenly Father has created us and loves us for who we are but wants us to become perfected. The tabernacle was beautiful and served its purpose well but Heavenly Father had more in store for it. Now being a House of the Lord it can bring many more on both sides of the veil to Christ. Sometimes it feels as though we are being completely burned from the inside out, that we are living in the refiner's fire. In time we will recognize the reasons for our perfect Father's plan and we will know His purposes. We have so much potential and must go through difficult things to reach it but it will always be worth it in the end. For we are sons and daughters of the Most High God.

the one about Safety for the Soul

In the scriptures Christ’s followers are referred to as His covenant people. He has promised to protect and guide them as they strive to live and keep the commandments. In a world where so many people fear what is to come, we have that promise and principle to rely on, that God is at the helm and will take us safely home. He has provided security for our soul and peace as we seek His Gospel.

            In Safety for the Soul, Elder Holland, warns us that even the most sure of foundations will be tested and tried in the last days. It is necessary to be tempted. It is necessary to ask questions. We are not to follow blindly the counsel given, but rather seek for a confirmation from the Spirit of those same truths. The “enemy of truths” will always strive to lead us astray. I believe this is a critical experience. There is something so sacred and so personal to have your most precious truths be questioned and have to find that answer through the Holy Ghost and personal revelation and then be able rebuild and strengthen that foundation.

            Questions are not what bring spiritual destruction. Spiritual destruction is falling away from the principles of the Gospel. Our Father’s plea is to stay for away from destruction. He counsels us to stay close to the truths we know and cherish. We are to have daily communion with Him, to always have His spirit to be with us. Heartbreaking, it must be for the Father to see His imperfect, but loved, children fall or walk away from truths they once knew. Holland compares this to the vision of The Tree of Life. There are those that never even reach the iron rod, or the tree of life and are destroyed. Others are ashamed once they are there and partake and fall away. Lastly, those who follow the iron rod are obedient despite the difficult and treacherous temptation and mist of darkness.

It was interesting to hear that everyone in the vision faced the mist of darkness at some point. Race, wealth, sex, and age are not discriminated. It was not just those who lacked a foundation of testimony. It wasn’t only those who were the strongest or the weakest. In this test of life, everyone will be tempted. The mist befalls everyone because we all need that growth that comes from withstanding burdens and trials if we are to live with God again. The Lord knows are struggles. He knows are weaknesses and strengths. He individually has felt them.

            I love the symbolism we learned of the rod of iron in class. As we hold to the rod we are walking hand in hand with Christ and He leads us to safety and happiness. He is beside us the whole journey through if we choose to just hold on and cling to Him. I can’t help but think of the fear and surely the unknowing that must have accompanied those holding to the rod. The mist of darkness and temptation so thick around them they can’t see, but they trust, and they hold on “tenaciously” to Christ and His word. I have so much respect and admiration for those that suffered the whole way but just hoped and prayed that, “we are almost there” meant the next arms length away. The relief and pure joy that must have been theirs as they finally reach the tree of life and partake of the goodness of God’s undying love. His love is His Son, His love, is His sacrifice. The most precious of all fruits is the gift of the Atonement.

            “Christ is the safe harbor” Holland states within this talk. I don’t think I recognized that phrase as closely as I did this time watching it. In difficult times when we feel we are being tossed and turned and the waves beat upon us, we need to remember where are peace comes from and who we turn to for all things. Christ is our exemplar in every aspect. He is our safety net. He is the protection and the security in the trials of our lives. Everything we do should be to bring us closer to Him.

            We recognize His pivotal and instrumental role in our lives because we have the Book of Mormon. It is what teaches us the importance of the Atonement. Not just the how it was done, where it was done, and what was done; but it teaches and testifies of the necessity of it, how to access the eternal healing, and why His willingness was essential. The Book of Mormon teaches us more about Christ than any other book. Truly, that is why it is the most correct book on the earth. If Christ is our safety, and He surely is, then the Book of Mormon is necessary to find all the peace and happiness that this world has to offer. When we are asked to become perfect in the New Testament surely we would be given more guidance on how that must be. There is more, 531 more pages to direct and teach us to become like our Savior and “be perfected in Him.”

            It is not possible, in the next life, but especially in this one, to obtain the eternal joy that is to be ours without the truths of the Book of Mormon. In these last days we are threatened to deny all faith and hope in humanity. We are God’s children. We will not deny the faith. But we also will not have all that He has to offer without having a spiritual and sacred time to read, ponder, and pray about the ancient text of scripture. It is to be our comfort, our support, and our liahona. We are to cherish and return, not only to the pages of the Book of Mormon, but also the experience itself, when we gained a testimony of its divinity. As we recount those feelings we are reminded how real revelation is and how close He is to and for us.

            The book could not possibly be in the hands of so many without the faithfulness of its humble translator. Joseph Smith is the epitome of diligence and faith in my eyes. “The crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty” Holland once stated, and surely Joseph had nothing but loyalty to His calling and ordination. I don’t believe anyone will ever know and recognize everything that Joseph Smith had to endure to bring forth the dispensation of times. In a letter to his wife, Emma, He once said, “God is my friend. In him I shall find comfort. I have given my life into his hands. I am prepared to go at his call. I desire to be with Christ. I count not my life dear to me, only to do his will.” His loyalty to our Father in Heaven is one of the noblest of acts I can recall.

            Joseph and Hyrum gave their lives as a testimony and witness to all, that they would not deny the sacred book and work, which they were called to do. This stands as evidence to everyone, in any time, that this work is true. Like many prophets from past dispensations, Joseph was asked to seal His testimony with His blood. Thus proving and testifying that He would not ever dismiss His encounter with God and Jesus Christ, reject the Book of Mormon, and His pivotal role in God’s restored Kingdom on the earth again.

            I, like so many, have received answers to my humble, but sincere, prayers to know if the Book of Mormon is true. I’m beyond grateful for Father’s love and mercy to bless us with so much. I’m eternally thankful to have the knowledge of the sanctity of the Gospel as well as the Church. I have never been asked to die for the Gospel, and probably never will. I have, though, been asked to live for it. My hope is to be as loyal to my testimony, my covenants and to God, as Joseph was to the end.

the one about the evidences of The Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon has been critiqued more than any other book in the world. Those who question the power of the book, look over and past, facts that are proof of its authenticity. The very text of the Book of Mormon manifests that it could not have been written by the uneducated Joseph Smith. The structure, the word use, and the word print are just a few of the evidences that testify that it is the word of God.

The prophets that wrote the Book of Mormon were educated and somewhat biblical scholars. They studied the scriptures and were familiar with the writings and the styles found in the Holy Scriptures. They patterned their own record from that of their favorite authors and prophets. Archeologists have discovered that psalms were one the many forms of poetry, especially in the ancient Near East. Nephi was taught this style of writing and we see it early on in the Book of Mormon. 2 Nephi 4 is probably the most well known psalm found in the Book of Mormon. Following the death of his father, Nephi, expresses his emotions within this form of poetry. “Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.”

            The psalms found in the Book of Mormon are just one structure of writing found. Chiasms within the Book of Mormon are also quite similar to those written in the Old Testament as well. A chiasmus is a form of poetry in which a principle or concept is repeated in reverse order in the same or a modified way. This literary form is Hebrew and emphasizes important ideas within the writing. In Exodus 6:2-8, the principle is taught that God is our Deliverer; this reiteration in the chiasmus is to stress the importance of the message. The famous King Benjamin uses this same style throughout his address. Within his address to his people, found in Mosiah 5:10-12, Benjamin focused on the Savior and His role in our repentance process after sin and transgression. It seems as though the authors from this specific time period recorded in chiasms more often than any other time period. This isn’t simply a skill Joseph Smith could have mastered in less than three months without education past the third grade. It is indeed evidence that the Book of Mormon couldn’t have been written by him.

            The structure isn’t the only thing that is unique about the text. The very choice of words used reveals it came from a world far different than that of the early nineteenth century. According to the Ensign article, “I Have a Question”, three examples of the text differences include construct state of sentences, prepositional phrases over adverbs, and cognate accusative. The construct state is when prepositional genitives are used instead of adjectives and noun phrases. This state is unusual and seems odd to modern day English speakers. The same is with prepositional phrases used to describe the action instead of using an adverb. For example, in Hebrew it is very common to use the phrase “with harshness” instead of using an adverb to describe it as “harshly.” Cognate accusatives are when the direct object is used to describe the verb with the same root word. “Judge righteous judgments.” in Hebrew turns into “judge righteously” in English. These and other examples are what testify to me that if Joseph Smith had written it, it would’ve been written in his own language and not copy after so many others in the different books of the Bible with his lack of knowledge in the subject. His wife Emma once said, he “could neither write nor dictate a coherent and well worded letter, let alone dictate a book like the Book of Mormon. … The larger part of this labor of translation was done in my presence and where I could see and know what was being done. … During no part of it did Joseph Smith have any manuscripts or book of any kind from which to read or dictate except the metallic plates, which I knew he had. If he had had anything of the kind he could not have concealed it from me.” It would have been absolutely impossible for Joseph Smith to do such a thing.

            In my eyes the best piece of evidence of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon is the text itself, which has proven to be written by many different authors. Similar to a fingerprint, each prophet and apostle has a different personal touch to their words and their records. By this, scientists and statisticians have been able to prove that a different person wrote each book. "Utilizing a computer to identify 'wordprints' or word use patterns that scientifically differentiate between individual writing styles, researchers have uncovered what they claim is conclusive evidence that the Book of Mormon is the work of many authors." Dr. Alvin C. Rencher, a professor of statistics at Brigham Young University once said.
          As I read the Book of Mormon I notice the differences of writing, ever so slightly at times, between each prophet or record holder.  I love being able to be touched by so many people’s actions as I read their exact words. It becomes so much more important to me to know each author individually, and to form of a relationship with them and their work. The evidence within the Book of Mormon’s text is plenty proof enough to touch and soften anyone’s heart, including my own. The unique imitation of the Old Testament writing style, the very usage of words and phrasing, and the knowledge that science has proven about multiple authors are all just a few of the proofs that God has given to us to know the truthfulness of His scripture. He has given us the Book of Mormon to guide and direct our lives and I know He will continue to do so, especially when we may find ourselves in a situation where witnesses are needed to stabilize our foundation. “The Church is true, the Book is blue.” This clever phrase that lives within our Mormon culture is perfectly accurate. The Book of Mormon is the word of God and there are many signs and evidences that prove of its authenticity.

A Crater of the Mind

I stared down at the cement, focusing on the crunching of the fallen leaves in my path. Though it was January, it was another sunny day in Florida; it’s called the sunshine state for a good reason. Yet, there had been everything but sunshine in my soul that week . . . or had it been a month?

            “How are you doing today, Sister?” Sister Kreiberg’s blue eyes were completely focused on me. I turned away to hide my own blue eyes as they began to fill with tears. I blinked to clear my vision and nuzzled my chin into my pea coat. How can it be so sunny and bright, yet so chilly? I thought to myself, Florida isn’t supposed to get chilly.

            “I think it’s pretty much the same as it has been,” I answered honestly. I kept walking but didn’t seem to have an end in mind. Where were we going again? I glanced up, and in that second a vibrant blue house stood amongst a long line of cookie-cutter homes. Normally, this would have brightened my morning, but colors seemed to have drained from my world. I kept placing one foot in front of the other although it was more painful each time.

I felt a gentle touch that brought me back to reality and reminded me that at least I wasn’t physically alone. As I peeked at her hand resting on my arm, I realized that she was right beside me where she had always been, even those moments I didn’t always feel her. She removed her hand and pulled her soft blonde hair into a bun. Only a few weeks before, I had simply known her as the beautiful foreign sister; now she was my companion. She was more than just a companion though, so much more. She was my healer, my comforter, my realist, my confidant, and one of my closest and dearest friends.

            “Let me know if I can do anything to help.”  I knew I wasn’t putting her in the most comfortable situation, but still I tried to show her my gratitude with my eyes. I couldn’t portray any sincere emotion with my face.

Sister Kreiberg stopped and turned as to show me we had arrived at our destination. I followed and prepared myself. You’re doing what you love. Put on a smile, even if you don’t want to right now. He needs to see the joy the gospel brings.

            I knew the Gospel brought me so much happiness. It was one of the very reasons I had decided to serve. Now as one of the leaders in the mission and much more than half way through, I couldn’t understand why I suddenly didn’t feel it. Why I couldn't feel anything. My favorite things in life include smiling, laughing, and missionary work, which were why I loved my mission so much! Which was why I was a good missionary. I was a happy person! What was wrong with me? Who was I now?

            “Our Heavenly Father loves each of us so much. He created this Plan in order for us to grow and learn through the joys and difficulties of mortality” I felt as though my companion was talking more to me than to our new friend whom we were teaching. It was now my turn to testify.

            “I know that this is true. I know that God created this Plan of Happiness for us each to progress, to become like Him, and eventually to return to live with Him. We can promise you, as you listen and act upon this message we share, more joy will come to you than you’ve ever experienced before.” I had meant what I said, and I even put a smile on to try to convince him my statement was true. Following our lesson, we began our journey back to the car, and I couldn’t help but feel hypocritical. I had testified of obtaining pure joy. Yet, that may have been the first time I had smiled since the last lesson we had taught.

            Week after week my world was emotionless and cold. My life suddenly felt like one of those old television shows. Instead of the joyous moments that were shown by a cheerful and bright filter, my life had become the grey filter used to stress the sad and dreary parts. How long would this last? I stared at myself in the rearview mirror, pleading with my reflection, Please, just try to smile . . . even for a moment.  I forced my muscles to draw upward. It was amazing, no one could tell the difference, which says something about my acting I suppose. They were all completely unaware that I felt totally alone.  Mentally, I had fallen into the deepest of holes, and all around me there was only darkness. There seemed to be no escape. I only confided in my companion, my Mission President, and Father in Heaven.

            “President Berry, I’m trying to learn from this trial. How can I overcome something that seems to completely wear on my soul? Everything seems so dark. I can’t describe it any other way. I’m trying to fight all the negativity that enters my mind but the doubts are so strong and controlling. Destructive whispers are so convincing that there are no longer those that love me. I know this is not true. I know that I’m loved by Sister Kreiberg, my family, my Savior, my God, and by you, President. I’m trying to rely on the Savior to bear this burden, but I’ve never had to deal with a trial so mentally challenging and exhausting. I’ve been so blessed; I’ve never had to deal with depression before. How can I turn it over to the Lord?”

            “My dear, Sister Sillivan, know that our Heavenly Father is mindful of you. He loves you immensely and seeks to give you the comfort you desire. The Redeemer of us all is there to redeem you. Remember, the Atonement is for the smallest of sins as well as for the greatest tests; utilize it. Please keep me informed on how you are. If it continues to decline, let’s meet in person. With love, President Berry”

            As I read his reply, I imagined him sitting in his black pinstriped suit at his desk, as he likely had done while writing it. I heard his shaky voice as if he were standing before me in person, and I knew that he was deeply concerned for me. Every week I reported back to President on how I was doing. I lived for his responses each Monday. I needed his confirmation and his counsel. He was my father away from home. He somehow knew my heart and knew exactly what I always needed to hear. I often think back and know that, I served in Florida to specifically be under his direction.

“Sister, I want you to know how much you mean to me. You’re amazing!
Jeg elsker dig.” The note was laid on my desk with a small Danish figurine beside it. I didn’t know Danish, but I knew this phrase.

“Thank you so much, Sister. I love you too.”

Sister Kreiberg was everything I needed as I endured this trial. She was one of the many ways God reminded me He was aware of me and knew my needs. Her gentle reminders of her love, compassion, and affirmation strengthened me and gave me a desire to continue each day.

I couldn’t describe what I was feeling, but that wasn’t always necessary. My Heavenly Father and my Savior understood completely. Every free moment I had was in constant communication through prayer. I valued every second. Seeking to find answers, relief, and freedom. I learned how extremely merciful God is, and I recognized loved ones who walked beside me, even the very Son of God. I began to notice that every day I turned to Them, I felt something.

            The days began to be warmer, and with that warmth also came light to my soul. I began to see colors. Once again, Florida sunsets, took my breath away. I actually noticed the buds on the trees, which would soon turn into my favorite Magnolia blossoms. What seemed to be an eternity had only been nine weeks. There was finally light in this dark crater of my mind. It was hope.

“Sister, how are you doing today?”

“Better.” I smiled . . . almost automatically.

the one about my Grandma Gloria

I was only six years old when Grandma Gloria passed away, but her legacy continues to inspire me. Some of my fondest memories are walking hand in hand with my older sister to her house after school. We would climb the counter to peek into the candy cabinet and await the poached eggs with milk that would surely be our dinner. Her tiger lamp, famous spiral iron staircase, and the enchanting carousel horse are just the possessions that made grandma so unique to my cousins and me. Now I recognize the pivotal example she was to so many through her instant and permanent testimony of the Book of Mormon.

Gloria was born in a small town in central Nebraska in the year of 1928. She was an only child for most of her life. Her parents adopted her brother and sister after she was an adult. Her place of education was a one-room, country schoolhouse outside the town of Burwell. Her family was taught in the ways of the Methodist faith, but rarely attended.

 Annually, the quaint little school would bring in Catholic Nuns for a week to teach the students stories from the Bible. For days, they would read and discuss the lessons learned from Noah, Moses, David, and other prophets and people in the Old and New Testament. At the end of the week, they were each asked to stand in front of the class and recount their favorite story. At the age of seven, my grandma stood and shared her favorite story, “…when God lit the stones so the men could see in the boats.”  The teachers were puzzled. “Gloria, that’s a nice story but it is not one of the Bible stories.” With the closest LDS chapel and, likely, the closest Book of Mormon (what is the Book of Mormon? read here) as well, hundreds of miles away, her mother, the teachers, as well as herself, had no idea how she had heard this story. When asked, she had responded, “I don't know how I know it, but I know it’s true.” They asked every minister they came in contact with about the story but no one seemed to have ever heard such a tale. Gloria never forgot.

As years passed, that experience was always in the back of Gloria’s mind. But soon she met Norman Sillivan, the love of her life, and they were married in January of 1947. They had four children and adopted four, as well. Gloria and Norman raised their kids with the values of hard work, faith, and determination. They were also members of the Methodist church, although they didn’t attend but for special occasions. Still, they were known for their honesty, loyalty, values, and hard work.

In the summer of 1972, my grandparents decided to take the three kids that were still left at home on a trip to California to visit family. As fortune would have it, Salt Lake City was where they spent the night after a long day’s drive. After recognizing the tourist options within the city, they decided to at least walk around Temple Square. Not surprisingly, they were handed many brochures, as well as a Book of Mormon. After their planned 15-minute walk turned into three hours, they headed on their way.

As they drove, grandma read bits and pieces of her new literature out loud to her family.  They soon returned home and the book was placed on the shelf. Years passed and it collected dust. Finally, in the year of 1975, my grandma picked up the Book of Mormon once again. In the little village of Arcadia, Nebraska, Mormonism was hardly heard of.  And the few people, who had heard of it, knew very little about it. This included my grandma, other than the few hours spent in Salt Lake City.

My dad, the youngest of the eight children, only knows the story through his eyes. He was playing pool with his father in the basement of their little farmhouse. Suddenly, they heard a scream, along with tears, coming from just up the stairs. Upon reaching the top, they found Gloria sitting with the Book of Mormon in hand. With happiness and what must have also been shock and confusion, she shouted “I found my story!” Sure enough, out of curiosity, she had taken the book from the shelf and began reading where she had left off: Ether 3.

She was hungry for more; more knowledge about this book. She had so many questions. She did know one thing though, the story she had known all those years before as a small child, really did happen. Gloria wrote Church headquarters in Salt Lake City, asking for additional information about the church and the message of this Book of Mormon. For three years she waited, until one day two elders, missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, walked into her local business asking for a Gloria Sillivan.  She recognized who they must be immediately and responded, “What took you so long?”

Norman, Gloria, and the two youngest of the family, my aunt and my father, began meeting with these Mormon missionaries. The elders came, from the closest branch 100 miles away, to teach the family. Within just a few short months, the four were baptized on October 11, 1978 in the Middle Loup River. The recent converts were not always fortunate enough to make the drive to a newly formed branch only 70 miles away every Sunday. But members came for visits to strengthen and support their family.  Meetings were held in their home and as their testimonies increased, so did their church attendance. For years they continued to drive 140 miles round trip each Sunday and Wednesday as new callings came.

Now, 37 years later, I see the influence my courageous grandmother had on so many. Her leading example has brought dozens to the truth and to the knowledge of the gospel. She testified through the power of the Holy Ghost to all those who questioned and doubted her faith. The first daughter to be baptized brought her husband into the church and my father married a young lady from their first branch. Eventually, the church grew in our remote area and my dad was asked to help form a branch closer to home, this time only 30 miles away. The Broken Bow Branch was created in 1992.  My father was called as the first Branch President, fulfilling a statement from one of the missionaries that baptized them: “Someday this area will see a President Sillivan.”

On October 11, 2012, exactly 34 years from the day of her own baptism, two more of Gloria’s daughters were baptized. The gospel, and her example, continues to bless many of her grandchildren and great grandchildren to this day.

My grandma’s role in building the church in central Nebraska has been pivotal. My grandma’s role in building my family’s testimony has been without measure. Her unshakeable testimony of the gospel has taught me patience in learning, faith in God, and to believe that good things come to those who seek after truth. Her faith in a simple book, and even more so, within a short story, has testified to me that miracles do still occur. In Mormon 9:19 it says, “And if there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles and yet be an unchangeable Being? And behold, I say unto you he changeth not; if so he would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles.”

Heavenly Father is aware of every individual. He knows their needs, their desires, and their heartaches and will always send assistance. He sent aid to my grandmother exactly when she needed it, to eventually bring her the eternal truths that would not only bless her life, but her family’s life for generations to come on both sides of the veil.

Although my testimony may have first started on the foundation of my parents, I too, now know firmly that my Heavenly Father lives and truly did send Jesus Christ to be the Savior of the World. The Book of Mormon will bring any honest seeker to truth and happiness. All the blessings He has in store for us in this life come through faithfulness to His commandments. I am so thankful for my testimony and the witness of my grandma, Gloria Sillivan. 

mormon.org

lds.org

the one about the temple

Growing up in the church, the temple has always played an important role in my life, but this past Saturday, I was able to learn and appreciate it so much more. I was blessed to be able to receive my own endowments. What a beautiful and amazing experience it was. Never have I appreciated The Atonement so much and never have I been so grateful to be a member of His great Gospel. The temple is such a wonderful place,  and it truly is heaven on earth. 

I can't say I wasn't nervous, I was. I had taken the temple prep class, I had met with my Bishop about it,  I read many many scriptures about temples and their purposes, and honestly, I was as ready as I could've been. When I entered into the temple, all my nerves went away. It was simply beautiful, as always. I know I made covenants with the Lord that day, and I renew those covenants every day now. I can honestly say, my life has changed for eternity, and for the better. The Spirit bore witness, to me personally, of the covenants I made and that they were true, and how grateful I am to have the Spirit as my constant companion to be able to have that assurance. The temple is truly the House of the Lord. I cannot say it was easy to get to the temple, it takes patience, dedication, constant prayer, diligent scripture study and most importantly the Atonement of Jesus Christ, but I can promise, it was is all worth it. The temple is not a "secret" place, it's a sacred place. As members we do not discuss the covenants made in the temple because they are so sacred to us and to our Heavenly Father. Anyone can go to the temple, if they are willing to live their life in accordance to His commandments and principles, it's not for the privileged it's for those striving to be like Him. I'm so overwhelmed with happiness that I can draw nearer to my Lord and Father in His Holy Temple and receive guidance and revelation for myself, but more importantly that I am just one step closer to being able to live and dwell with them again. I love to see the temple, I went inside November 23, 2013. I covenanted with my Father; I promised to obey.

the one where i get to babysit and rant

so every four years the youth gets to spend Youth Conference at Martin's Cove. This is always a very spiritual experience for everyone and is definitely a memory never forgotten. I had the chance to attend my second year of Youth Conference and I know for a certain that my testimony was strengthened because of the 4 days dressed as a pioneer and walking in their footprints. We not only had challenges such as losing our spouses and babies, we also were asked to walk many miles pulling handcarts, sometimes barefoot, up rocky hills and through rivers. The sacredness in the Cove is something that I'll never be able to explain. I absolutely loved it and I'm so happy for my two younger siblings to have the chance to be there this week as well.

So as I was saying, this week the youth returned to Martin's Cove for Youth Conference. My mother is a counselor in the Stake Young Women's, my father chooses to be a cook and is able to attend Girls Camp and Youth Conference each year, my oldest sister was asked to attend to as a photojournalist, and two of my younger siblings attended as youth. Which left me, and my youngest sister not joining the trek. Another couple in the Stake was able to go as well and asked me to nanny this week for them while everyone was away. 

The last 2 days (2 to go)  I've been able to watch over 3 kids, 4 including my sister. Aging between 7-13. Its been a hectic yet exciting week playing mom. Cleaning, cooking, taking kids to swimming lessons, preparing scripture studying, and putting kids to bed. The last couple of days our adventures have included; going to the pool, playing many, many games, water balloon fights, watching movies, and setting up a sheet and projector up as an outdoor movie theater, and I'm sure many new experiences before the week ends.

As I've babysat I've come to learn how truly important a mother's role is. I've never once thought in my life that, as a women, I was treated unequally. That I was looked upon as just a homemaker. But even if I was, I don't think I would mind. I would love being able to stay home with my kids each day and watch them as they grew. What a wonderful life it would be to have to watch your kids smile, read, run, play, and live as a job. Some, don't think women and men are equal, especially in the Church since men are able to hold the priesthood. But honestly, a women's duty as carrying a child and watching he/she grow is such an amazing and life changing experience, thinking of it, is....mind-blowing. As humans, we are able to create life. Its an amazing process. And as women, we have a life, a person, growing inside of us. I'm so excited to someday to have the opportunity to be a mom and to raise a family of my own. But until that time, I'm grateful to have the chance to practice and babysit these wonderful kids.
If you're still interested in this topic, give Elder Ballard's talk a read/listen/watch.
"This Is My Work and Glory"

the one where i tell you about my vacation

so this past week i've been on vacation with my amazing family! it was probably thee greatest family vacation thus far! We definitely had some rough patches, but it was all worth it. It started out Thursday at a family reunion on my mom's side. We watched movies on a screen under the stars, rode horses, went to a water-park, went to a melodrama (so much fun! a skit where the audience boos the villains, cheers for the heroes and watches the cast fight for the money that is thrown on stage!), and got to see long lost relatives. Saturday morning we left for Kirtland Ohio, where we would meet up with a family that we're all very close to. The drive from Omaha, NE to Kirtland was excruciating! Took us all day. along the way we stopped at Iowa; where we decided the strangest people in all America were located. [i won't even mention the neon green hair, flapping pant legs, and lady with a fake tail! no offense to those from Iowa, i'm sure it was just a bad day. (let's hope)] we then soon realized we had forgotten our passports which we obviously needed for our trip to Canada. everyone was pretty bummed out including myself! but none of us could stay sad for too long. my dearest mother felt so bad, as if she had ruined our whole trip. We then proceeded to get lost and somehow ended up in Michigan. although the state was beautiful and far better than the interstate, it was not on the way by any means. at last we made it to only our second stop of our long trip. the next day we attended church in Hirum and then visited the Johnson Farm where Joseph Smith stayed for sometime, receiving much of the Doctrine and Covenants. I had no idea how much had taken place there. We took many tours there and got to see the first temple built by the Latter-Day Saints. The following day we drove a few hours to Niagara Falls. Because we had forgotten the passports we were afraid that we wouldn't have such a great time, but we were wrong! it was great, we took the maid of the mist out to the falls, saw the whirlpools, got to stand under the falls, walk through the cave of the winds, and luckily, see the lights at night. so beautiful. After our adventure there we drove to Palmyra, NY. We went to Joseph Smith's log cabin and other buildings. We each had the amazing experience to walk through the Sacred Grove. What an incredible testimony builder it was to actually be able to pray to our Father in Heaven near the very place where he appeared to fourteen year old Joseph. It was beyond incredible. We then had a temple session, climbed Hill Cumorah; where the plates were buried, went to the printing shop; where the first Book of MOrmon was published, visited Alvin Smith's grave, saw where Martin Harris' farm was, ate some great pizza, and waited for the Hill Cumorah Pageant.The Pageant was amazing!! i can't even put into words how strong the spirit was throughout the show. I loved every second of it and i couldn't stop snapping pictures. The following morning we said goodbye to the family who had been with us and went on our way to the Peter Whitmer Farm where the church was first organized. We then headed off towards Nauvoo, IL where the Nauvoo Pageant was still taking place. we loved the HIll Cumorah one so much we decided to stop through and watch this one. although it was a long drive, it was definitely worth it. again the pageant was so spiritual and just amazing all the way around. we finally got home the next day after a week and a half. the vacation had it's ups and downs for sure! but i couldn't have been on a more inspirational, spiritual, and uplifting trip as the one i just returned home from. I'm so glad i know the things i've been taught and i'm so very blessed for not only this great Gospel in my life but for my amazing family who believes and understands how very blessed we are to have it.

The Girls on the trip

Kirtland Temple

The Lights at Niagara Falls

The Falls

Characters from the Hill Cumorah Pageant

again, a little blurry

Opening scene from Hill Cumorah Pageant

 

Opening scene from Nauvoo Pageant

the one where i ponder about life

A lot has happened lately that has just opened my eyes to how simple and yet fragile this life truly is. Tuesday morning i attended a funeral. A friend's ten year old little brother was killed in a car accident just last week. Although i didn't know this boy well the few times i've been with him he was always giggling and shyly whispering into the ears of his siblings making them laugh. At the funeral I really learned what a great kid he was and how he was always trying to uplift others. I can't even comprehend the strength the family has to be able to go on with a smile on their face and at least know that they will see him again. I have a strong testimony of the Plan of Salvation, but i can't say it really has ever been tested and i hope and pray it doesn't have to be. But really, the only family members i've lost were grandparents and although it's sad, it's life and it makes sense. But to have someone so young that has barely lived? It doesn't seem fair and i think that's truly when someone's faith would be tried. I'm so very blessed to be able to understand and know my Heavenly Father's plan for us. What a comfort it has been, and will be, to be sure of seeing my loved ones again. I can't help but thinking how blessed I am to be so close with my siblings and parents. What a strength they have been in my weakest moments. They are honestly and without a doubt my closest companions and greatest friends. To know they will always stand up for me and be there for me is so gratifying. Life is very delicate and i think it's so important to know what things in life will make you the happiest and the best person you can be. As much as i love sports, materialistic things and such, are they truly what we should focus this life on? This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often. That doesn't mean "YOLO, be crazy have fun, go wild!" it means in the long run, what makes you happy, do that. And if you realize you don't like something...then change it. Make it better because you can and don't be afraid to. You have the ability to do that.If you don't have enough time for the important moments in life then get off the computer, iPod, or phone and change that too. Don't overanalyze life, all emotions are great and every incident will be worth it, even those beautiful disasters and those perfect flaws. it's ok to be lost at times, that's what will help you find yourself. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things. And people, we are and will be united with our differences! And although i've only lived for 18 years, i feel as if i've been blessed to know what, undoubtedly, the greatest things in life really are.

Inspiring

I found this video on Natasha's pinterest and was so inspired by 

the message Elder Russell M. Nelson shared I knew I just had to post it. 

Here it is.

Words can't even describe the testimony he has.

This is what unwavering faith looks like. 

I'm so honored I had the chance to shake his hand.